Singleness & Hope

#thestruggleisreal Being single can be tough. Yes, there are some good things about being single, but sometimes it’s just plain lonely and discouraging. Full disclosure; I am recently married, but I still remember the struggles of single life. Here is one memory that sticks out to me.

I woke up one morning really excited because I was going to one of my friend’s baby showers. I love baby showers! The hostesses go over the top to bless the mom-to-be. There are cute finger foods and decorations. It’s fun to celebrate the little life that is about to come into the big world.

At the shower, we were in the middle of the belly game. You know the one. It’s when you use string to guess how big around the mom-to-be is. It may sound insulting, but it’s actually really fun! As I was looking around the room, watching the women cut their piece of string, it hit me. It was out of nowhere, and all of a sudden I felt really... sad. Sad for myself.

Most of the women in the room were my same age or younger, but they were married. Not only were they married, but a lot of them already had one or two kids. It struck me that I was behind in life. I didn’t have a kid, I wasn’t married, and I wasn’t dating anyone. I didn’t even have any prospects! I was single and waiting.

In that moment of comparison and self-pity, my spirits dropped and I couldn’t muster up the will to enjoy the rest of the party. I just kept thinking, “I am so behind.” “What if I never get married?” “What if I never have kids?”. It was depressing.

Once the party was over and I stepped outside, I took a deep breath and let it all out. As I drove home, it was a little hard to see due to my tears, but it was a great time to process with the Lord.

I’ve heard someone distinguish between capital H Hope and lowercase h hope before. Lowercase hopes are the things in life that I desire, things I put my hope in but that aren’t going to crush me if they don’t happen. For example, a desire to have a job I enjoy, to have good friends, to be healthy, to be married, to have kids. Those are all good hopes but if they don’t come to fruition, I am going to be okay.

The reason I am going to be okay is because my capital H Hope is unshakeable. It’s securely placed in a love that will never fail. It’s anchored by a future that is guaranteed in heaven with God. It’s held together by promises that are guaranteed to come true.

My ultimate Hope is Christ.

Being in relationship with Jesus meets my deepest needs and desires. If he is all I ever have in this life, then I am absolutely blessed. If all else fades away, if I would have never gotten married, if my husband and I never have kids, I would have more than enough in the person of Jesus.

I know sometimes those things are easier said than felt, but take a moment to renew your mind today.

What have you placed your hope in?

Have you placed your ultimate Hope in Christ?

Take courage today, Jesus knows you, knows your deepest desires and is more than enough for you.

 

Savannah Reynolds